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2003 It is as though we are all entering a brave new era.
'Believe in us, trust our judgments, even
though the world may be turned upside down, we know what we are doing, its for
the best, but we can't tell you everything'
It is a powerful argument. But it makes me
uneasy. I have come across several situations in my life already, when this
argument has been thrown at me. It has depended on who's been throwing it, on
whether I believe it or not. I call it 'trust me I'm a vicar' argument. I'm more
likely to trust a vicar.
The year of 2003 has started eerily like
2002, with Harry Potter 2, Lord of the Rings 2 and of course: the Iraq story,
looming large, larger than ever it seems, with worries also about all sorts of
insidious threats on our doorsteps. It seems to have added a few notches to everyone's
stress levels... and the paranoid paperwork brigade seem to have added even more
in our everyday lives .Does no one trust anyone anymore, without filling in
'form xyz!'
My artwork seems to have moved forward again in a
positive way. I have moved back with pastel painting and my results seem better than for a long time. I think this is also due to the fact
that my deep pain seems to be easing off. It has been getting in the
way of my artwork for years now, creeping up on me, and made me quite depressed at times. Now at
last, after seeing a hospital specialist ( a years wait) I have been given a
neuropathic tablet called Neurontin. The specialist diagnosed 'nerve endings'
pain and not the coccyx being damaged. This has made a heck of a difference, and
allowed me to get on with 'life' again.
Hey.. if you have read this far..then you could
be thinking...just another person getting older ...it comes with the
territory.
Anyway..'life goes on' as they say. 'Seize the
day' Make the most of the hours left in your life. Look towards the important,
and don't be deflected by the unimportant... ..this could be getting too serious.
Heard this one today;
A man went into a woodwork factory and said '
Can you make me a box out of wood?' 'OK', said the sales rep.'what size please?'
The man replied, '25feet x 5 inches x 5 inches.' 'Yes Sir, do you mind me asking
you what you will use this for?' 'Yes, I'm sending my mother a new washing line
for Christmas.
Exhibition of my pastels in March at the Mount
Batten Centre. I am in the process of giclee printing from one of
my new paintings of the Tamar Bridge. Take
a peek?
I am also running new day classes in
summer. The theme is 'Down by the Riverside' This is a stunning location along
the river Tamar.
Dates 25,26,27,28th June 2003 in a brand new resource room jutting out into
the river....Ashtorre
Feb 16th 2003
Valentines Day yesterday...dragged on uneasily in
the morning. Like many people I had been keeping a close eye on the news, since
this day brought the UN report on Iraq. To me, all the news seemed like a great cloud casting a dark oppressive shadow over the world and our major
politicians were telling us to 'hold tight' we may need to attack Iraq.
But the politicians attempts to brow beat, scare,
everyone into agreement wasn't working to well, and at 3 pm the UN report confirmed this. Blix's
objective report gave more time to seek other solutions. The cloud seemed to be lifting
as little.
Today, the 16th Feb. has been a major day in history for
the British people, but you wouldn't think so, to watch media coverage of the
biggest peace demonstration ever with 1-2 million 'ordinary' British citizens
marching on London to protest about the British governments stance on war with
Iraq.
It is good that we in Britain can still protest in this way, and that it
will be reported, opinions will be heard both here and in the USA. This sort of freedom
is the root of democracy, even if word games are played to downgrade the
significance of such a major world protest.
I don't think the government spin doctors can
believe it all. There may be a sea change for them.
I believe the truth is that people are now
becoming educated about world events.
We are bombarded every day by news, news ,
news..... something is
beginning to stick.
We are starting to spot the hidden agendas, the
ploys, the manipulations, the dumbing down tactics, of the world we live in. Politicians
are starting to be 'seen through' The Internet, TV, for all its faults, has released a power of
truth into a world community, and we can start to root out, something of the
reality. There is a new objectivity at work here.
For what it is worth, I think, that the Iraq
issue calls for a UN approach and Inspectors should be given more time and later
a peace keeping force should be put into place to hold things together. I think
this is the French approach. The world should move as one U.N. to sort
this out. We have to. The 'them and us' fight, hit and bomb approach is now naive.
The world is too small, the weapons are too easily had, to create
destruction beyond our comprehension. It only breeds terrorism.
I understand that there is a predicament.
Terrorist groups, rogue states, who are seeking weapons of mass destruction are said to be at
work in the world. Vigilance on a world scale, by the major world powers, has to be in
unison, and approached honestly.
This united path is not easy for those who
have been used to having control, power.
I know I have gone on about this, but I do think
the world saw a major event today when many, many, millions of people went out
of their homes to express their feelings collectively, peacefully, about the world
we all live in. Art in not just a slushy 'chocolate box' thing, confined to
the picturesque, nice and fashionable. It is also about expressing feelings,
having a say, on canvas, in dance, in music or through the written word.
Saturday 22nd March
Last night. I was making the tea at the time, when the B52's and
missiles hit Iraq. Quiche and chips. I had a big slice of bread and butter, just
to keep me going.
I was in an uneasy state of mind, as the news was gathered
thick and fast...and of course, repeated and repeated to make the images of
plumes of smoke in Baghdad, etch themselves on my brain cells. Rice pudding for
afters. Shouldn't have had that bread and butter, feel a bit queasy now, or was it
the news? None of it feels right. But I hear the voices around me saying things
like "We have to do this now, for fear of terrorism in the future"
"It will run smoothly" "It will make the world a safer
place" That can't be bad, can it?
As I watched the bombardment unfolding, I tried to flip a coin
in my mind. Just suppose...just suppose.... the pictures of Baghdad were pictures of London or New
York. What horror would this be, and would it be reported in the same way, as a
sort of exciting event on a calendar? Would it be 'shock and awe' or 'despair
and horror' It has all been very interesting, how the British Government seems
to have moved to the right, without me for one, fully realizing it.
Come on, tell me I have got it all wrong, or do we really live
in Disneyland now? The reporting of this war has been mixed, with the usual
nationalism developing, but also realistic, on the front line reporting. I still
feel we should have taken all this through the United Nations first, but this is
water under the bridge now and much, much, sensitive co-operation may have been lost.
Hey, I've just thought...I wonder if we will win the Eurovision
Song Contest this year?
27th March 03
Exhibition went pretty well. Sold enough. Loads
of work on at the moment, as usual, in the form of showing others how to paint. Yeah, yeah,
.. same old problem..always need 'more time to paint myself'...as all artists
are always saying.
That dark shadow of war.. is still there.
Well, were really at war now. I just don't know
what to say anymore. It all goes on regardless of what anyone says in Britain.
Of course we all support the troops fighting bravely, but this is a separate
issue from whether the war should be raging on, not to be clouded together, as
some people, of course, now think.
...and it's all happened before.... Wilfred Owen, the War Poet, wrote before he died in the 1914 - 18 war.
'And some cease feeling
Even themselves or for themselves.
Dullness best solves
The tease and doubt of shelling,
And Chance's strange arithmetic
Comes simpler than the reckoning of their shilling.
They keep no check on armies' decimation.'
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Tolstoy wrote about it, Sebastian Faulks wrote
about it recently in 'Birdsong' a best seller in Britain. I expect George Bush
will dictate a book on war soon.
30th March
Beautiful pictures, that's what people
need, beautiful holidays, old fashioned, cute and quaint ...cos were beautiful
people eating beautiful food in happy places... watching beautiful soaps,
laughing and crying, with beautiful cars and homes...watching flickering screens
of information... like this one. Ever read 'The Time Machine' by George
Orwell.... perhaps we could be moving this way.
13th April
TV war. Its all very
interesting, seeing the major players of the world reveal themselves for what
they really are. We catch a glimpse.. and think...surely not! When re-shaping
takes place, they show their true colours. Its like peeling back the layers of
an onion.
27th April
All war in Iraq over now by the look of it.
The USA are just doing as they please. Blix is not allowed back in to find
those weapons. ...but guess what..the military are finding things,
documents, equipment that can support the truth that there are weapons of
mass destruction. Reports in Britain about US news reporting leaves much
to be desired.
So we turn to the SARS virus, another
worry. We are taking this all in a sort of low key way. I hope we are
right.
June 2003
Iraq has gone relatively quiet. The oil
flows. No sign of anything....that made us enter this war in the first
place. The sun is shining.
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